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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Mr. Marshall Mathers' LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
11:45 am
What the duece?
Ok, so last time I updated I was bit upset about the whole girlfriend thing. After 2 months she decided it wasn't for her because she just didn't feel anything for me anymore. That was last Tuesday.

Everyday since then I have talked to her on the phone. Did I call her??? No.

Last Wednesday she basically called to yell at me because of an e-mail I sent her, just telling her how I felt and that I felt she was making a rash decision.

Last Thursday she calls, drunk. She didn't have much to say, as you can imagine, plus it was loud and I couldn't really hear her.

On Friday she calls because we had planned to go back to Madison for my buddies annual barn party for Halloween. About a month ago I had invited her and all her friends and her friends were still planning on going, but I had told her when she broke it off with me that I would prefer that she didn't go because I just don't think I would enjoy myself. Well, she called saying that she was disappointed she couldn't go, all her friends were still going and now she had nothing to do. So...being the gentleman that I am, I call her up and say, "it's ok if you come, seriously, I don't mind".

So, I get fucking plastered as soon as I can when I get there. About 2 hours into the party her and her friends get there. I remember seeing her, saying one maybe two things and then maybe 30 minutes later she left. Soon after that I blacked out.

Saturday morning I got a lot of phone calls. One message was from her. She is telling me that she hopes I feel better, etc. Call her sometime. So, I call her and we talk just about the night, nothing real big. At the end of the conversation she asks me what I am up to that night. I told her going to Faust's barn and then downtown Madison. She said, ok...maybe I will see you downtown, but I will call you for sure. Huh??? One, you aren't going to find me in a crowd of 100,000 people. Two, wha...why are you calling me again?

So, she called at 9:30 and I just didn't feel like answering it. She says, "I hope if you are drinking you have a ride downtown". When was she supposed to start caring about me again? Talked to her about 2am...she was sooooo drunk. So, she said, "I will call you tomorrow, I am drunk, but I need to talk to you about something".

So, Sunday I get back to school, unpack my shit and then I get a phone call. Here are the first words out of her mouth, "John...I think I made a mistake".

Yeah...I know this.

So, 5 days pass...we see each other for 30 minutes, we talk on the phone everyday. Now, she sees she made a mistake. Seems a bit too finiky.

Ok, so here's the scenario...we aren't "going out". We are like "back together"...yeah, I gave in and gave her another chance even though last week I told her no way. So, basically we need to communicate more and reciprocate better. Thus, I am going to take a trip to visit her this weekend. I also have many other friends where she's at, so I wont need to be with the whole time...I think that's a good thing. It's weird though...

A week and a half ago she was wishing me Happy Birthday and saying she misses me so much. Two days later she's telling me it's over. 5 days after that she wants me back. Well, we aren't officially back together, but we are working on it again.

Honestly, I feel torn. I know she is a very honest person, so there is no need for me to think anything else is going on. I truly think the very most of her, so I would love to just take her back, but I know that would just be stupid. So...I guess we will just move slow and see what happens.

Please tell me why are females like this???

Current Mood: awake
Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
10:40 pm
It's over...
Quick relationship, but what are you gonna do? We may/may not remain close friends, I guess only time will tell. But, she is a good girl just wasn't going to happen.


Life goes on.

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
11:11 pm
History...
The Red Sox came back from 0-3 to beat the hated New York Yankees to win in 7 games for the American League Championship. Boston was the first team in 26 tries to do this...unbelievable! I can honestly say that baseball is the greatest game on earth!

Current Mood: tired
Monday, September 13th, 2004
11:43 pm
Back in the swing of things...
Well, I have now been in all four of my graduation school classes and I am very surprised...surprised how easy they all seem to be!

I only have class on Monday and Tuesday and I am thinking about getting a job while taking 12 graduate school credits. It's just unbelievable to me how easy these classes "appear" to be. Enough about that, I am just happy that the work load won't be as difficult as I thought.

Lots of weird shit has happened in the past month or so. Some of it good, some bad but I think the decisions I have made were the right ones.

I do have a girlfriend now, she is great.

I am looking forward to this weekend. My bro and some of his friends will be coming to visit.

The weekend of the September 25th and October 2nd I will be headed back to Madison for the Badger games...sweet deal.

Big, long day tomorrow filled with school, but it really doesn't phase me, weird huh?

I am still reading all my buddies entries...I love you guys, even if I haven't been commenting, I am still following along ;)

Current Mood: tired
Monday, August 16th, 2004
6:08 pm
We did it!
The Madison Mallards are your 2004 Northwoods League Champions!

What a great experience it was Saturday night to see the joy and happiness throughout the ballpark. We ended up winning 4-3 in 11 innings, it was a storybook end to a storybook season. If you want to read more about the game or team go to www.mallardsbaseball.com.

Everything else is going real well. I leave for Vegas on the 20th, looking forward to that very much.

Current Mood: cheerful
Friday, August 13th, 2004
12:10 am
New start...
So I went out this past Sunday to a party about a block away from my house. It was a friend of my brothers and my bro was there with all his friends, and they all said it was fine if me and a few of my friends came. It was a pretty tame party for the most part. Anyway, I ended up meeting this girl named Sarah, real cute and very very nice. She wasn't drinking and I didn't drink much. We both hit it off real well, so I got her number and called her back the next day. We talked for a bit on the phone and I told her I wanted to take her out for dinner some time. That time was tonight...

We hit it off even better tonight. We have a lot of things in common and both seem to be getting a kick out of each other. The worst part of all this is that she will be going up North this weekend for a week and the day she gets back, I leave for Vegas for 4 days. I will be back the 23rd, but she leaves for school the 28th...so I guess that means our time together is greatly limited. I really hate how things like this always happen. It just seems like such a great opportunity and I hope we can make something work.

In other news...The Mallards won both divisional playoff games, which puts us in the Championship series starting tomorrow. We will either play Duluth or St. Cloud, both are at least 6 hours away. I had planned to join the other front office members for the trip, but I found out that Riese is having a party tomorrow. I just figure this gives me another opportunity to hang out with Sarah, so I decided to skip the bus trip and stay in Oregon for the night.

Summer is winding down people!

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
6:51 pm
Home Stretch...
Starting tomorrow we have our last five games in four days in Madison. We are now 3 games up in first place and may have a chance to clinch the second half. It's pretty exciting to see the team play so well and I really hope we do end up winning the whole league.

Saturday me and 19 other friends took a trip to Milwaukee to watch the Brewer game. It was pretty fun, but a few of my very close friends weren't able to make it because of a softball game. After the game we all went to Faust's place and he had a barrel there, so it turned out to be good times.

Sunday night Reger, Faust, Higgy and I all played an incredibly amusing drinking game and attempted to finish off the barrel from the night before. It didn't happen, but we gave it a hell of an effort.

I just found out today that I will be representing our mascot along with other teams mascots on August 22nd at the Brewers game...not sure if I am going to like it, but hey, maybe I will get on national television?

Possibly hitting up downtown Madison tonight...we'll see.

Current Mood: blah
Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
11:30 pm
Here we go...
It feels like there is only a couple weeks of summer left, even though I still have over a month. I guess that's because there is only a couple more weeks with the Mallards...unless of course they make the playoffs...

I was really happy that Jen was able to come to Madison this past weekend. She met up with me after the game and we went to the bars with my friends on Saturday. Sunday she went to the game with her grandparents. We went to the bars with Klein after the game and got ridiculously drunk...great time.

Still having an awesome summer. Honestly, I don't think I could ask for anything better, even though the hours I work are ridiculous I am still able to have a social life.

Two game homestand starts tomorrow though, I guess that means it's bedtime.

Current Mood: tired
Sunday, July 18th, 2004
11:05 pm
Still Here...
Summer is definately winding down and for once I can say I am sort of happy.

The Internship with the Mallards has gotten to the point now where I am very comfortable with the everyday activities and used to working long hours. I love everyone I work with, which makes the days easier as well.

I have been able to see almost all my friends over the summer, whether they came to see me or vice versa. It was awesome being able to see everyone and I truly miss them all.

I will be making a trip to La Crosse tomorrow to see if I can't figure out my living arrangements this fall.

If the Mallards make the playoffs it's doubtful I will be able to join my family up north for vacation in August. Sad but true, I really hope they miss the playoffs.

Hopefully, I will get to Daytona Beach as well, but that's not looking real positive either.

Crazy summer, "I hate to see it leave but I love to see it go."

Current Mood: sore
Sunday, July 11th, 2004
2:00 am
All I know
I miss all the little things in life.

Current Mood: upset
Monday, June 21st, 2004
10:18 pm
Back to Reality...
Well, tomorrow I will head back to work after my four day break.

Thursday night me and the other Mallards front office staff were lucky enough to take a limo up to La Crosse for the game. I was out of my mind drunk and not really sure what happened, but I do know my dad ended up assisting me on the drive home that night.

Friday my family and I attended my grandma's visitation.

Saturday was the actual funeral.

Sunday was a "laid back sort of" day...no good way to explain that except there was really only a family cook out at my mother's parents house.

Today we had the final good bye at the grave site.

It's going to be a bit hard for me to get back into the swing of things at work, but I need to get my mind right again.

The worst part of all is that these things are only the scratch of the surface of all my worries right now.

Current Mood: scared
Thursday, June 17th, 2004
12:18 am
To Grandma
I love you Grandma, may you rest in peace.

Current Mood: sad
Sunday, June 13th, 2004
8:30 am
Insane
We had 10,061 fans in attendance last night, which shattered the Northwoods League Baseball record that we set a year ago by just under 2,000. It was extremely stressful, but at the same time we did an awesome job and it was once again a good learning experience. After the game there was a fireworks show and I was helping with security in case any drunk people decided to do something stupid. Of course, two guys took off and ran across the field. I wanted to takle one of them so bad, but I slipped on the wet grass...at least they ran off and hopped the fence. It was actually quite comical. Oh well, time to go to work...game at 3 pm.

Current Mood: tired
Saturday, June 12th, 2004
9:20 am
Been a long time...
Finally, a chance to update the LJ.

I have just been really busy with this internship this summer. Our home opener was this past Wednesday. I worked a total of 35 hours on just Monday and Tuesday! Wednesday night I was designated to the "Fan Services" area. It was extremely lame, I had a few people come up to me and complain about the food but that isn't even our problem because there is a seperate company running the consessions this year, so we aren't even affiliated. I also helped sign kids up for the Kids Club and that was basically it. I didn't even get to see the game! I guess the other interns did a sub-par job of the on-field promotions, so I was told I would be able to help with that on Thursday night.

Thursday came and went. The game was cancelled due to rain. I was ok with this because it was a couple of my friend's 21st birthdays so I got to leave work around 7:30pm and go out with a group of friends.

Last night I actually got to help out with the on-field promotions. It was such a great time! I wasn't nervous at all and everything was run extremely smoothly. I think after last night game they are thinking about having me do the on-field stuff for the rest of the year. I can't be sure of course because there are quite a few other interns and we may just do a rotational sequence. After the game last night me and the other interns and front office people all went out to the decks in right field and got to drink and eat for free. It was a shit load of fun. Ended up calling it a night around midnight.

Last night was a little strange because there was just under 3,000 fans, I think because of the questionable weather. Tonight will be insane. Tickets for this game were all ready sold out two weeks ago! There are also fireworks after the game. Some people are predicting a record crowd tonight...wouldn't that just be the shit ;)

Current Mood: tired
Friday, May 28th, 2004
12:23 am
Time for bed.
Yep, I just got home from a 14 hour day of work.
Goodnight.

Current Mood: pissed off
Thursday, May 27th, 2004
8:02 am
No Social Life for me...
I started my internship with the Madison Mallards Baseball Club this week. So far it's just killing me. The shortest day I had was 10 hours. I have worked more than I have been able to sleep. 34 hours of work in the last 3 days! It's not easy work either. Yesterday I spent 12 hours doing hard manual labor. My lower back is killing me and I am sunburnt to shit. I didn't even eat on Monday because no one ever said when lunch was. So I realized the next day that you kind of determine that on your own, but you should be still working while "snacking". I really like all the other interns but the work is very demanding. I found out yesterday that we work everyday as well, including Sundays and HOLIDAYS! I'm not real happy, especially since I am being paid a stipend of $1,000 for 3 months...ridiculous!

So I decided to post before I go to work this morning, who knows if when I will be able to post very often after this. I hope everyone else is having a more enjoyable summer than I am.

Current Mood: irritated
Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
6:52 pm
M-E-T-H-O-D Man
Went to see Kill Bill 2 today...quite different from the first one, but I liked them both a lot. Also, went to the mall and got some new running shoes and normal shoes, along with some work clothes for this summer. Stopped at Best Buy and picked up the new Meth CD, listening to it right now...so far so good.

Current Mood: bored
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004
3:42 pm
At last...
Finally graduated and feeling good about it. The last seven days have been crazy, I am going to miss La Crosse this summer and my newly acquired friends.

I am having my big party at my house this weekend and really excited for that.

I start my internship with the Mallards next Monday.

Most likely going to see Kill Bill 2 tomorrow with my bro and friends.

Everything is good at the moment.

Current Mood: happy
Saturday, May 15th, 2004
2:07 am
Yep
Should be happy that I am graduating from college tomorrow...instead, depressed as shit. Awesome...

Current Mood: aggravated
Thursday, May 13th, 2004
3:37 am
God damn...
Seriously...I wish this would actually just come true.

Current Mood: happy
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